IVF is hard. This is not what I thought it would be like. It has made me examine so many aspects of myself, and redefined my place in the world.
I used to trust I would be a mom, and there would be three Ofeldts living in our house. I don’t have faith in that idea anymore. Now, I have faith in myself to accept that I can find peace, and joy in my life regardless of the outcome.
I am getting stronger. I’m healing. Finally.
It took awhile. I had to allow space for grief. It felt endless, and I wasn’t sure there was another side. I was shaken to my core, but I reached out for help and so many people held me up.
Above all, I reached out for Mike. He is always a steady, and magical part of my life. I met him and the word home came to mind. It was loud, and clear. I trusted that voice in me. I’m glad that after a decade my intuition and mind have finally got on the same page. Win or lose it’s ok to try, or give up, because Mike and I are going to stand by each other, and that’s a safe place to be.
