I had a dream that I found a couple of extra rooms in our house. I love that dream! The rooms are always beautifully furnished midcentury modern with an occasional nod to a Versailles aesthetic. They are so unlike the maximalist artistic vibe of our tiny apartment. So I looked it up. What do my dreams mean? Turns out to dream of discovering new rooms is often a symbol of realising new aspects of your own personality. The analogy is that you thought you knew yourself so well, but suddenly circumstances have arisen that have revealed there is far more to you than you previously thought. Well how beautiful is that. Especially since I have unexpectedly won an art scholarship to the European Cultural Academy next week in Venice Italy. Wahoo I’m so excited.
So why am I telling you about my dreams? Well…. at the beginning of the year I started taking improv classes at Finest City Improv and I met this beauty named Cindy. Improv is for brave people, people who dream. Cindy and I both decided to do something to change our lives and ended up getting to know each other over improv games.
Cindy mentioned that she broke up with her long term boyfriend a few days before this shoot. I thought how strong she was for showing up. It felt like such a power move. We all contain multitudes and I’m thrilled to be able to show off some of Cindy’s. Since I had the chance to get to know her before she hired me, it was really fun to see how many sides of her I reveal. In person she’s sunshine with some raw edges and an effervescent sex appeal while being the sweetest salt of the earth kind of person. I’m not sure it has ever hit me so hard that a portrait session can be self care. But here you have it, this gorgeous piece of sunshine is reinventing herself and it looks so good on her.
When I look at these images:
I feel her power, her magic, the diamonds at the meeting of her thighs, the whip of her hair, the joy of her smile, the shake of her head whose movement is so powerful the camera could only grasp the shape of that joy.
The sun like she’s his keeper, the cactus taking a backstage to a hair flip, slow and fast moments, a trick of the eye, in focus and out, and even just a profile that is stronger than most people who got out of bed today.
And then there’s image 10 and 11 where just a straight forward look took my breath away. When I saw her expression, it felt like I got punched in the chest and my breath gasped.
I hadn't known when I woke up this morning that either of us would have that kind of a moment. And then I got in my car and drove home and helped Gaidin brush his teeth before he went to bed like it was just an ordinary day. Like I didn’t watch someone completely transform in front of me into the most beautiful girl in the world.
I’m grateful to the teenage me who picked up a camera and understood that we would love each other dearly. I hope as always that you find what you most love in this world and share it. This time in her life feels like a precursor, a flash of good things to come. Cindy go and set the world on fire.. xoxo S
Still I Rise
BY MAYA ANGELOU
You may write me down in history With your bitter, twisted lies, You may trod me in the very dirt But still, like dust, I'll rise. Does my sassiness upset you? Why are you beset with gloom? ’Cause I walk like I've got oil wells Pumping in my living room. Just like moons and like suns, With the certainty of tides, Just like hopes springing high, Still I'll rise. Did you want to see me broken? Bowed head and lowered eyes? Shoulders falling down like teardrops, Weakened by my soulful cries? Does my haughtiness offend you? Don't you take it awful hard ’Cause I laugh like I've got gold mines Diggin’ in my own backyard. You may shoot me with your words, You may cut me with your eyes, You may kill me with your hatefulness, But still, like air, I’ll rise. Does my sexiness upset you? Does it come as a surprise That I dance like I've got diamonds At the meeting of my thighs? Out of the huts of history’s shame I rise Up from a past that’s rooted in pain I rise I'm a black ocean, leaping and wide, Welling and swelling I bear in the tide. Leaving behind nights of terror and fear I rise Into a daybreak that’s wondrously clear I rise Bringing the gifts that my ancestors gave, I am the dream and the hope of the slave. I rise I rise I rise.