Last night my brother called me. It’s been a long story, but the call ended in tears with me alone, several floors up, crying on my bed in the sad, wailing kind of way that a mom mourns her child. In between my crying out, I happened to look out the window of my Airbnb at an old beautiful apartment and realized how similar the view looked to my hypnotized past self. I was a similar age and feeling a devastating pain.